By Thomas Liotta and Bonnie Liotta
Ways to Utilize Appreciation to Gain Cooperation from Your Kid!
When my children were young, it seemed like I could probably always halt their behavior with simply a frown. Maybe it took a single raised finger, or the counting of one, two, three. (I never got to three!) The more I ordered them, the more they paid attention. Then, overnight, something took place. I have any idea what. They quit “playing orders.” Now, the more loudly I order them, the less they respond. What happened?
They reached the age where “playing orders” doesn’t work. The great news is that the right questions do work!
It typically takes place that your young child acts up whether it is at the local mall, at school, in church, on a getaway or at your house. They are loud and, naturally, it may be humiliating. Your kid is very smart, and when they do well and are not acknowledged for it, they will act out to get attention from you.
It is as simple as that.
A. They do not see what you see.
An instance of this could possibly be when a great parent is on the telephone or super busy preparing supper and their kid or pre-teen comes up to them and displays a picture he/she just now drew and the mom or dad spits out, “Hang on, I’m busy. Honestly, can’t you see I’m on the phone?”
B. Realise that they want your attention, good or bad.
First of all, the child does not understand that Mommy is on the phone or why she is talking to them like that. All of a sudden the child is feeling as if they have done something wrong when, naturally, they have not. The child is seeking some appreciation. They are deciding to please their parent, constantly, however when their great actions go totally unnoticed by the mom and/or dad, the kid will commonly act out searching for some type of attention. This is when the kid will draw images on the walls, drop a coffee cup or pitch a bad temper tantrum.
C. Lavish them with praise!
Make it your purpose today, Mom or Dad, to insert effective, favorable kudos into your daily routine!
Anytime you see your young child doing something that you like, praise them. Find a way to ask them a good question they can give you the right response for, like: “Little Timmy, do your toys belong on the floor, on the sofa or in the toy box?” “In the toy box, Mommy.” “Oh, look at you, you are soooo smart! You always understand the right response! When would be a great time to make certain that the toys are in the toy box, now or in five minutes from now?” “In five minutes.” “Okay, so you are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes. When the hand on the clock reaches up here, then you will clean up the toys?” “Yes.” “Perfect, you are so remarkable, little Timmy!”
Your kid chooses to show you what they can do, exactly how wise they are, and how they desire you to be proud of them. When you could find any reason to lavish your child with the positive appreciation of hugs and kisses, concentrating on what you would choose for them to do, your kid will have an instantly higher level of self-esteem, self-confidence and happiness!
D. Ensure that the praise is real, is communicated clearly, and that it is understood.
With a slightly older child, you can modify the positive questions to appeal to their creativity and knowledge, can’t you?
Thomas Liotta brings over 15,000 hours of in-the-trenches training with 2,000+ children. He saw a 100% success rate with every child in self-control, responsibility and self-discipline. You can too. Get your FREE gift! The first 2 chapters of our new positive parenting book, A Simple Way to Guide Children and Teenagers to Happiness, Success and Gratitude.