Why Do Teenagers Lie to Moms or Dads?
Parenting can be aggravating, particularly when all moms and dads choose for their kid or young teen is joy and success. Contrary to how it seems, it is essential to comprehend that your kid or tween does not get up in the morning and ask, “How can I upset my parents today?” In fact, they want acceptance for who they are, and, for their mom or dad, this could be difficult. Somehow, we have assumptions of who we think our children ought to be, and as a young teen particularly, they are exploring their freedom and there are absolutely things they do never prefer you to learn about! Gosh, don’t you remember what it was like to be a young teen?
Teenagers feel fear that if they do tell you the honest truth, you will be mad at them or not like them any longer. Is there a perk for your teen if they do share with you the truth? Or do you simply desire the honest truth so you can be involved and can manage what they do?
After a lifetime of the fear based punishment of threats, any kind of screaming, time-outs or spankings will trigger exactly that in your kid, tween or teenager, fear. Yelling at or engaging in a power struggle with your young teen will cause confusion because they do not even know exactly what you are saying to them most of the time. I really mean this literally; they do not comprehend what you are stating, they do not comprehend the meaning of the words, and they have no idea the best ways to ask you for aid. So, in the end, your teen winds up just feeling silly and they clam up.
A great option to surpass this communication issue with your teen, and that is all this is, a simple communication problem, is to accept them for who they are as an individual and begin to make use of a completely different language with them. First off, never ever again chastise your teen or make them feel bad about what they wear, exactly how they do their hair, and what they decide to do in their downtime.
Forget outdated punishment methods that work, at best, for a really brief period of time. Start to lovingly guide their behavior. You do this by asking good questions instead of dictating to them. Nobody appreciates being informed exactly what to do … even here today, I am simply suggesting that you do this. I am not telling you what to do! I am informingyou what I have seen work.
Ask them questions like “When you go out tonight, will you be home at 10:30, 11:00 or by 12:00?” Or “What is it you like the best about hanging out with Timmy?” When you ask them point blank questions that are non-intrusive and non-judgmental, your teen will open up to you and just tell you the honest truth. When they are anticipated to do their chores and/or homework before they go out, question and quantify to see to it they comprehend exactly what you simply stated.
You will ask, “Ben, I would love for you to go and have a good time at your concert tonight. What is it you said you would do before you go out?” And your teenager will answer you, “I’m going to complete my laundry, put it all away, and sweep out the garage.” When this is engaged in every day, every single day, you will develop a beautiful relationship and true friendship with your teen.
One full of respect.