If you have done any parenting style or parenting solution research at all, you will have found Supernanny Jo Frost all over the internet, including YouTube. When I was raising my children Supernanny Jo Frost was my hero and still is today! What if her child rearing philosophy could be enhanced with new, state of the art, positive parenting solutions that would bring even better results with your child or teenager?
In April 2009, Supernanny Jo Frost was working with the DeMello family in and she showed the mom how to stand her ground to show the child who is in charge of the household! That is excellent, and it is essential as a role model’s demonstration, for the many parents out there who believe their sole job as parents is to keep their children happy. This is a huge error!
It is possible that in every episode we, as caring parents, can learn how and why we can perform efficient time-outs, productive taking control of situations, as a loving parent using our voice and our actions, and also how to hold off frustration, which always boils into anger, with our beloved children. Are there ways to empower our kids to enhanced self-images, stronger self-discipline and increased confidence, rather than weakening them by continually punishing them or threatening to punish them? Very definitely, positively, absolutely yes! There are ways to empower your children every single day of their lives and still have them each demonstrate only the excellent, well behaved and cooperative behavior you seek.
Time-outs, denial of privileges, and yelling are all direct punishment in your children’s eyes. Old fashioned, traditional punishment methods and techniques will work with very small children and they will work temporarily, at best, but eventually these methods and techniques will steal the child’s innocence and their self-confidence. I asked my husband Thomas to watch the YouTube video and tell me how Supernanny could create even greater success.
Here are 3 Parenting Style Secrets from Thomas’ helpful hints that he gave me that enhance Supernanny’s outdated punishment techniques.
When your child is screaming and running with wild abandonment around the house and horseplaying with their brothers or sisters, the majority of the time they are going to get yelled at, then get reprimanded, and then spanked or get told they are have earned a time-out. This tells the child that exercising and using their voices are bad behaviors, and we both know that’s not exactly the message we intended. Both exercising their legs and exercising their voices are good for them. However, what would be a more preferable place for them to practice using both their horseplay and their loud voices?
The next time your child is running around the house, screaming and horseplaying with his sibling, you just capture their attention and ask, “Little Timmy, where is the best place for loud voice and horseplay? Is it inside the house, in the library, or outside in the back yard?” Little Timmy will know the answer and immediately go outside to yell and scream. This way, he is not on a naughty mat, embarrassed; he is encouraged, praised and loved for being who he is. A little boy who likes to yell, run and play.
2. Know the reward that is important to your child.
Add in this crucial factor. Know the reward of what is important to your child or teenager, important to them, not to you. With this essential information, you have just gained the fuel to motivate them into taking the actions of learning life skills. In this episode, our Supernanny Jo Frost takes the family, both children and parents, to a library. The concerned parents are afraid that their wild children will act out. This will cause the parents themselves embarrassment. Jo explains to take a few moments to cover all of the rules before arriving at the library. Good job, Supernanny!
My husband calls this strategy of “to know the reward for your child” pre-framing. This is simply focusing on demonstrating positive energy to achieve exactly the same outcome of good self-discipline when you are at the library. You ask your child or teenager, “Little Timmy, what is the most important thing for you to experience today at our library?” Little Timmy will say something like “I’d like to get a book about cowboys, Mom!” “Excellent, Timmy, I would really love for you to get some books about cowboys! What kind of behavior is correct to use the entire time while we are in the library?” Little Timmy will always answer, “Inside behavior, Mom. Quiet voice and my slow walk.” Your child is very wise and very intelligent. Make it his choice to behave. When it’s his choice, he’ll behave in order to receive his reward, his fuel, the book about cowboys from the library.
Children do not yet possess the ability to make decisions. They cannot think abstractly yet. You cannot ask your children, “What do you want for dinner?” if you want them to eat anything resembling even remotely nutritious meals. They will always default to pizza, McDonalds or some favorite fast food. However, they will always pick something good for them if you make the decisions beforehand and then offer them their three parent-approved choices.
Say you want little Timmy to eat vegetables at supper. Supernanny suggests that they just take little bites while you encourage them to give it a shot. This is still your decision and you are still dictating what is important to you, that you want them to eat vegetables. So, make a parent approved decision about what is important to you and ask them, “When we have dinner tonight, would you like to have peas, corn or carrots?” He will answer, “Ummm…how about carrots?” Wow! He just asked for carrots. I promise little Timmy will eat all of the vegetables on his plate tonight!